I just finished a pen and watercolour painting. It's been so long since I've painted.
It feels like... finally letting out that breath you've been holding in, and taking deep gulps of sweet air.
***
Dec 15, 2010
Dec 3, 2010
The Light I Know Well.
I can't upload any pictures today. I don't even own a digital camera, or a scanner for my prints. I have to admit, I feel slightly uncomfortable having to rely solely on words, without any visual aid or stimulation for potential readers. Why am I writing then? I'm not sure. Maybe it's because one of my many english teachers told us in class that blogging is sometimes a good tool in getting hired. It might also be because I've been writing a lot in school lately and enjoy the feeling of satisfaction that it gives me.
I am useless when it comes to creating habits, and though I've started so many blogs, history dictates that I eventually abandon the effort. I forget what it feels like to write, or draw, or just create something that didn't exist before. There's no other feeling that I can use to compare this feeling to. Its freeing. It somehow makes me feel like I'm fulfilling a purpose. Does anyone relate to this? It's a feeling you don't always miss when it's gone, but once it returns I wonder how I could have forgotten about it. It inspires me to create.
Of course, I'm no writer. No, my passion isn't for the written word but for the magic of visuals. I might be able to survive without weaving imaginative tales, but I never stop thinking for a moment about the beauty of light, and contrast, and hue, and shadow, and colour. Being in awe of these things is as daily and natural to me as breathing. I have what they call "the eye." Seeing things the way I do seems to make me different from other people. Of course, when I say that I see differently, it doesn't only mean that I see the things others miss, but also that I view the world differently. Not everything is beautiful and mysterious, but everything is just one component to a much bigger picture. There is pain, and woe, and confusion, but understand that these things are fleeting, and give way to selflessness, and community, and love. In a photograph, there are areas of shadow, and areas of light. The most stunning picture often has such high contrast that every detail pops. Every shadow works together with every spot of light, making something beautiful. Of course, when we feel like we're encased in darkness, it is hard to imagine that we will ever again feel the warmth of the sun, and even harder to believe that our pain is part of a beautiful image. We like to bury our pain, and try to forget it. But what is an image without both light and dark? We don't need to forget, we need to hold on through the pain and trust in the bigger picture. And when times are good and light shines on us, we need to remember that it is not permanent, and share the hope of the future with others who are stuck in fear and doubt.
This is the truth of Jesus Christ. Life isn't all good, but at least it's all part of His plan and we can trust that He's got everything under control.
I am useless when it comes to creating habits, and though I've started so many blogs, history dictates that I eventually abandon the effort. I forget what it feels like to write, or draw, or just create something that didn't exist before. There's no other feeling that I can use to compare this feeling to. Its freeing. It somehow makes me feel like I'm fulfilling a purpose. Does anyone relate to this? It's a feeling you don't always miss when it's gone, but once it returns I wonder how I could have forgotten about it. It inspires me to create.
Of course, I'm no writer. No, my passion isn't for the written word but for the magic of visuals. I might be able to survive without weaving imaginative tales, but I never stop thinking for a moment about the beauty of light, and contrast, and hue, and shadow, and colour. Being in awe of these things is as daily and natural to me as breathing. I have what they call "the eye." Seeing things the way I do seems to make me different from other people. Of course, when I say that I see differently, it doesn't only mean that I see the things others miss, but also that I view the world differently. Not everything is beautiful and mysterious, but everything is just one component to a much bigger picture. There is pain, and woe, and confusion, but understand that these things are fleeting, and give way to selflessness, and community, and love. In a photograph, there are areas of shadow, and areas of light. The most stunning picture often has such high contrast that every detail pops. Every shadow works together with every spot of light, making something beautiful. Of course, when we feel like we're encased in darkness, it is hard to imagine that we will ever again feel the warmth of the sun, and even harder to believe that our pain is part of a beautiful image. We like to bury our pain, and try to forget it. But what is an image without both light and dark? We don't need to forget, we need to hold on through the pain and trust in the bigger picture. And when times are good and light shines on us, we need to remember that it is not permanent, and share the hope of the future with others who are stuck in fear and doubt.
This is the truth of Jesus Christ. Life isn't all good, but at least it's all part of His plan and we can trust that He's got everything under control.
Jan 21, 2010
"do something and you'll be someone"
I take pictures of my prints because the scanner doesn't scan.
Anyway, I've had many things on my mind lately. Foremost are my results from the Birkman "test." What the Birkman is is an assessment of a person's usual behavior, innermost needs, and reactions under stress... each report is an astounding 40 somewhat pages! Anyway, the point is to learn how a person ticks so you can... coexist. Needless to say, these 41 pages hold more secrets than any diary I've ever kept! I've also discovered I am artistic (thank you, Mr Birkman). Anyway, sarcastic remarks aside, its certainly interesting, and I've been inspired to dramatize some of my results- a bit like what these guys do.
Jan 20, 2010
I love hearing the owl coo every night
I love the echoes of someone playing drums far away
I love the frantic tapping of rain on my skylights
I love the eerie call of the loon across a lake
I love the sound of sizzling grease in a pan
.
I feel that I live largely in an art world focused on pictures and on music, but every once in a while I hear a sound that just transports me to an entirely different place. So I pay homage to those sounds, and am thankful again that beauty is found everywhere and in every form.
Jan 12, 2010
am I becoming more and more old fashioned?
This is the very first christmas-gift-thank-you card I've ever made, and I fashioned it because I sincerely do enjoy the atmosphere the aroma-thing creates. I just feel bad because I won't be making any more this year, (don't hate me!) though I'm enjoying all my presents.
Christmas letters and thank you cards. Am I turning into an old woman? Might I aswell just start wearing knitting needles in my hair to have handy in case of a knitting emergency?
Jan 9, 2010
my pictures are here!
I can finally share some of my pictures with you! So without further ado, a little taste!
This makes me happy, since the developing process took so long with the holidays and such.
This makes me happy, since the developing process took so long with the holidays and such.
Jan 8, 2010
Jan 6, 2010
thanks, Neil, I will
May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.
-Neil Gaiman
-Neil Gaiman
Jan 5, 2010
'Year-in' thoughts
I never realize how long a year really is. Now that we're at the end of this one and looking back, so much is coming to mind that I forgot about the beginning! What I do remember feels like such a long time ago though, what with grad in June and a change in lifestyle.
There's so much I could say about 2009- it brought change, introduced me to wonderful people, held many exciting new experiences, taught me to cry, and proved how complicated life can be. Nonetheless I'm left feeling happy about the way the year turned out- sickness and family issues and all!
Too bad its the beginning of 2010 (twenty ten!) and I'm already ill.
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